Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
