Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
