He kissed a someone with a penis
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
