Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
third nipple confirmed
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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