Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize