Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
