remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
