I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
