it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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