nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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