I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize