I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
