doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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