I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
