Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Shame - the story of my life.
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