Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
