We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
