I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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