someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
