I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
please don't ironically join a cult
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