So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We need to rekindle our bromance
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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