he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize