Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
