My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
