So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
