Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
