I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
