Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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