Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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