just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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