I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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