i don't like sucking hair
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
