My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
