are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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