the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
