Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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