I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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