32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
