The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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