i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
True strength comes from lack of pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
