And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
