I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
