i was rollin on her like bob the builder
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
