I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
