I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
