I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
