Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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