we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you win again, gameday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
