playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
