yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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