i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I believe in your delicious
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
