quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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