i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize