At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have already put on my inside pants.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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