you mean i was at the winter classic?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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