You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
