I must be too annoying 4 u.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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