hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize